Against the Grain

Slightly more than just jibba jabba

All about nuts

Posted by Patrick on 14 Jan 2007

It is known that I am the coiner of the term “nut” as a unit of volume measurement. For reference, I define a nut as a unit of measurement equivalent to 3.5mL, since this is a close approximation of the average human male ejaculatory volume. Yes, that’s right, the average man spits around 3.5mL per orgasm (I read many studies suggesting 2 to 6mL, and several college texts citing 3.4 to 3.7mL, so 3.5 was chosen and that’s why it’s called an approximation).

I got to thinking, how about a conversion table…

a packet of mayonnaise = 1-2 nuts, depending on vendor
8-oz. glass of milk = 67.6 nuts
12-oz. can of soda @ 355mL = 101.4 nuts
fifth of your favorite alcohol = 214 nuts
1 US gallon = 1081.4 nuts
5 quarts of engine oil = 1300 nuts

I’ll next be defining the nutgram, which is based on the fact that our sample has a specific gravity of 1.028.

I’d like to hear your own conversions. Please feel free to leave them as a comment.

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