Against the Grain

Slightly more than just jibba jabba

Men’s Euphemisms for Women

Posted by Patrick on 13 May 2007

If you’re a Laura Mallory or otherwise hypersensitive, mark-of-society woman with no sense of humor that can’t stand to be called anything other than your first name, then please have a nice day and continue on with your life without reading this post.

This is meant to be a fun post. I wish for men to participate and for women to contribute as well as be educated. What I want to take time compiling here are the absolute best nicknames, euphemisms, references, whatever that men use to refer to women and/or their favorite parts of women.

The euphemisms will be classified as such, and upon receiving the first reader submissions I will organize this post into this format:

1) Women in general, including full body/physique jargon
2) upper body including privates
3) lower body including privates
4) butts
5) feets
6) all others

I will be moderating comments and submissions on this post by disallowing standard comments and requiring the contact form at the bottom of this post in their place. My moderation rules are simple: you will receive credit for your submissions if accepted. This is meant to be humorous for men, so if it’s funny, great; if it’s practical, I’ll probably still take it; if it’s neither, chances are slim. In all submissions, you may not defame women or a specific person. Do not send me something which implies violence. You may be crass, you may be off-color (but not obscene), you may be rude if it is funny (to me) — if you think it’s questionable, try me. In the case of all submissions, I will personally decide which ones are posted. If you try to spam me because I rejected your post, I will block your IP address foevah evah and have a nice day.

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